the Mazan rape trial sparks debates and questions amongst {couples} | EUROtoday
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“II initially took it as a news item, but you have to believe it’s more than that,” confides Rémi, 53, concerning the Mazan rape trial. If he struggles to take a full curiosity within the matter, the fifty-year-old, extra centered on worldwide politics and ecology, sees himself, willingly or unwillingly, “forced” to take action. His accomplice, Mathilde, 44, reads “everything that is done and everything that is said” on the topic. And questions him. “I discover it vital that women and men can speak about it. »
Described as “historic” for the info, their scale, but in addition and above all of the media influence made doable by the absence of a closed session desired by the sufferer, Gisèle Pélicot, the Mazan trial, judging, since September, Dominique Pélicot and fifty co-accused for aggravated rape dedicated in opposition to his ex-wife, additionally invitations himself into many conversations within the intimate sphere. Particularly inside the couple, the place it typically offers rise to misunderstandings, debates and questions.ALSO READ Three months behind the scenes of the already historic Mazan rape trial
“It is mainly women who feel the need to talk about it,” observes Fabienne Kraemer, physician, psychoanalyst, and writer of a number of essays dedicated to emotional and sexual life. Because the emphasis was positioned on the trivialization of profiles, she explains, it’s much less Dominique Pélicot, a infamous “pervert”, than “these dozens of men, “everyday gentlemen” able to raping an inert lady, who problem them.”
If greater than eight in ten French individuals (83%) at the moment are conscious of the affair – amongst which a 3rd know exactly what it’s about – it arouses extra curiosity amongst ladies, revealed, in reality, Ifop in a survey carried out for Sud Radio and POLitics final October: virtually half of them (47%), in comparison with simply over a 3rd (32%) of males, mentioned they saved themselves commonly knowledgeable.
The Mazan trial extra intently adopted by ladies
A scenario that Jean*, 29 years outdated, married to Louise*, a yr his senior, perceived with out issue. If there may be consensus on the horror of the weather reported by the press, the younger man, usually disinclined to what he describes as “neo-feminist discourse”, observes: “For us, this trial opened the debate on peripheral subjects , like male-female relationships, which we have not talked about until now. »
Discussions around consent, in particular, but also general precautions for women in the face of attacks. “Which I haven’t had with the men around me,” notes the twenty-year-old, regretfully. “They told me: ‘This story is disgusting,’ and didn’t go much further. Myself, he admits, I did not particularly encourage them to do so…”
“She has the impression that I’m not interested enough in the subject, and it’s true…”, admits Rémi, virtually sorry for this admission. “He still limits the trial to the fact that the accused are “monsters”, deplores, for his half, his accomplice, Mathilde. My intention is actually to not incriminate him, she specifies, however I want to transcend this statement, to talk of the males, and masculinity.
The forty-year-old, who defines herself as a feminist, despatched him a plethora of articles and listening to stories, hoping to arouse his curiosity. Without success, “I’m not sure he read them.” While recognizing that sure topics might be “uncomfortable” (consideration for a lady’s physique, marital rape, and many others.), she regrets the missed alternative to deal with what she considers to be “systemic violence”.
“You men…”
A battle of notion which, past his relationship, runs by society as an entire. So practically three-quarters of French individuals (72%) take into account this affair “revealing the permanence and trivialization of sexual violence in our society”, going as far as to assume (for 65% of them) that “all men” bear, on this regard, “a share of responsibility”, greater than half of these surveyed (59%), imagine, on the similar time, that the accused relate to solely “special cases” – together with 73% of males and 41 % of girls.
Thus, Anne and Laurent, respectively 48 and 49 years outdated, see it much less because the trial of peculiar “male violence” than as a “sordid story”. “There is a banality of evil, but I do not see why men in general would have to apologize for these acts, as if each of them had to bear a form of guilt…” explains the forty-year-old. “We were both horrified by this affair,” she says, with a sigh.
“Of course we wouldn’t all went to commit these crimes. The fact remains that Dominique Pélicot was able to recruit seventy men [vingt n’ont pas été identifiés par les enquêteurs, NDLR] within a radius of fifty kilometers…”, Jean confronts them, still incredulous at the magnitude of the facts.
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“You men…” Several instances, the phrase has been mentioned to him in current weeks by his spouse. “Of the second degree,” specifies the younger man, between derision and seriousness. “She wanted to send me a message: there is something, a problem somewhere, and we can question it…” he sketches. Like them, 61% of French individuals (together with 59% of males and 63% of girls) imagine that the Mazan rape affair constitutes a chance to replicate on the problem of sexist and sexual violence.
* First names have been modified.
https://www.lepoint.fr/societe/vous-les-hommes-le-proces-des-viols-mazan-suscite-debats-et-questionnements-au-sein-des-couples-30-11-2024-2576743_23.php