Rayden: “I have removed the fear of being an absent father and I will return to music, but it is not for ‘marketing” | Culture | EUROtoday

This time away from the stage, Rayden (Alcalá de Henares, Madrid, 39 years outdated) has reconciled along with his self yesterday. With David Martínez, dry. By locking up, first, and touring to Nepal, then healed his childhood wounds. Those that led him to retire at his greatest for worry that his son culprates. Those of the “justice” that set the nets on hearth as a result of it was what they anticipated of him. And these of the rapper who began in music to really feel liked. “I have realized that I have always been savior and complacent in my way of relating to others. And that was overwhelming me,” he explains in the lounge of his home. There, with the guitar watching him, he has written his third novel, The Interior Children’s Workshop (Addition). In it, he adjusts accounts along with his previous by 5 characters that, after enjoying background, forgive themselves. Errors, fears and contradictions.

P. A religious journey to Nepal. Do you’ve the disaster of the 40?

R. No, I feel no, I didn’t have at 30 both, however there are attitudes that I see that they do males of my age that I don’t perceive and that they justify with the disaster of the 40 … I might additionally wish to shit it and defend myself in that.

P. How?

R. Those who’ve Peter Pan syndrome and attempt to be with ladies to whom they double … one factor is love, however when used as mode of operationperhaps we have now to research what occurs.

P. And what occurs, in music, for that to occur?

R. It occurs within the artwork world, basically. It is stuffed with everlasting insecure that attempt to validate by their works and that use energy dynamics, establishing completely vertical relationships.

I’ll return to music to precise myself, however to not the occasions demanded by the trade “

P. Before retiring, he said: “What feels on prime of a stage is healthier than intercourse.” Do you miss it?

R. The scenarios, no, but music … [Hace una pausa y duda]. In Nepal, we had a meditation based on “giving voice” and I asked myself this question: “If I took away the fears of being an absent father and never being as much as the general public would proceed to make music?” The answer was “sure.” Although I will not return to the times demanded by the industry.

P. He assured that the end of his musical career was “definitive.” Some will think he was not sincere …

R. Those who have me will tell me … it is not for marketingI will not announce any tour, disc or single. I prefer to disdain for something beautiful like this to excuse myself that I have changed. I made that decision because I was afraid that my son forgets me when spending so long away from home. I remember being in Latin America and seeing him pixelated by video call, like a stain. Now I have removed the father’s layer and I have realized that he is proud of me. When I return, I will do it to express myself, but without thinking about the requirements of the trade. I don’t want to deny one thing [la música] That makes me well.

P. Have you already written any song?

R. I have one, but I am not going to get anything for the moment and when it is it will be organically.

P. What does that song talk about?

R. Fruit, They are going to kill me for telling you this. It is about all the changes that I have had. With Delaporte, in Nepal, I have also composed three songs. We still don’t know what we are going to do with them …

I blamed my father for not having been with me enough ”

P. And that never had a true vocation for music.

R. No, I never dreamed of doing songs. Notice, it was happier if in the Rock vineyard there was turkey coldtlement in the caterin than when they notified me that I had not been number 1. I did not feel pride or joy, but that the first thing I thought was that that was going to serve me to make the label invest more. I have a rare relationship with success.

P. In the novel, talk that we have two interior children: that of the lights and that of the shadows. What are your shadows?

R. I have a very large rejection and abandonment wound. I blamed my father for not having been with me enough. He was administrative and worked a lot and, still, he was lucky to see him to eat every day. Also, I was a little brother who did not find his hole. On this trip, I have killed my father to love man again. Because, many times, I have pointed out for things that a friend would have forgiven the five minutes.

P. It also seems that he has killed his own guilt.

R. Yes, now I disguise myself as my son’s moral tutor. I have taken away from being full time papi [Ríe].

If the taboo were released on the MDMA, we would realize that it can be an alternative of therapy ”

P. The psychologist of her novel performs an expansive consciousness retreat with MDMA so that the protagonists explore her childhood traumas. Have you tried it?

R. With MDMA no, but with psilocybin. After the book I don’t know if I will cheer up! I have reluctance with the use of drugs because I have lost people for it, but in that experience I discovered neuroplasticity. I felt that my adult self filed a conversation with my child self. And the vertigo I had since childhood was removed.

P. The usual ecstasy consumption is associated with depressive disorders, panic attacks, anxiety … is paradoxical.

R. Well, the recreational use is not the same as doing so at a timely moment with medical assistance, supervision, patient selection parameters and a purpose. I have seen people with self -injurious ideas that managed to forgive themselves or women who have suffered sexual abuses who have stopped having vaginism. If the taboo were released, in 50 years, we might realize that it can be an alternative of therapy.

P. Are you afraid of psychologists?

R. Yes, sure. Also those of the healing of the high spheres, where there is a lot Lord of mind impossible to change, but I am not therapist. Although to write the novel I have spoken with several and when I have finished it they have also reviewed it.

If you are a man and want to be popular, you have to conquer. Yes, as a woman, you do the same, they will call you fox “

P. Is it thought of a deconstructed man?

R. I attempt to evaluation the ugly … reasonably, I’m an awake man. Once a girl informed me: “A lot of deconstructed man, but well a womanizer you are!” It has nothing to do, however it’s true that the deck is uneven. If you’re a man and need to be fashionable, you must conquer. If, as a girl, you do the identical, they may name you fox.

P. There is lots of speak about Me Too In the cinema, is there on the similar stage in music?

R. Yes. I breathe as a result of my title by no means comes out and I feel: “What a guay left good place!” There are males who’ve behaved in a approach in intercourse and because the individual in entrance of them had been silent thought it was wonderful … I, for instance, I really feel that on this final 12 months I’ve advanced greater than in my complete life, however you must purify the best way to accuse in order to not err the shot. Because this may change into a witch hunt. We are a completely immature society with the usage of social networks and we’re studying. I perceive them much less and fewer.

P. Because?

R. Because networks improve to reside on the impression that others have about us. Many occasions, I pointed to individuals as a result of I used to be on sure steps to change into what they represented and pointed them out to distance me, for worry that they might point out me … I feel that I’ve to sing the my guilt. Some colleagues informed me: “You always get wet!” It was as a result of they anticipated a righteous vein from me, however one factor is to have a crucial perspective and one other morality. For instance, with Rubiales I devoted a publish With a textual content tochco spinning the theme with Pablo Motos. Who named me speaker?

I’ve not heard the brand new model of ‘ESA Diva’ of Melody “

P. Tell me the reason why he has really resigned to be an advisor to Benidorm Fest.

R. Because it doesn’t compensate for me. When the Eurofán sector does not like something they live it in a harmful way. I felt that I had less and less hand and that my idea of ​​a festival was buried by that of other people.

P. Why don’t consolidated groups or artists present?

R. Because Spain is an insecure country. In France, the top 50 It is French music. In Italy, the top 20 They are Italian. Here is a bite and what is less heard is Spanish music. Any person who comes from outside is “Welcome Mr. Marshall or Welcome Mrs. Taylor Switf!” There is a lot of complex with ours and we are waiting to throw over the work of an artist. As you present Benidorm Fest and don’t do it well, you can dynamite your career.

P. What do you think about the new version of That diva?

R. I have not heard it, I swear. For me it was rare to win someone who promised that everything was going to change it.

P. Who would have liked him to win instead of Melody?

R. Seeing how the festival was and what the other countries were carrying, would have been between Kuve, Mel Ömana, J Kbello or Daniela Blasco.

P. Novelist, rapper, poet, musician, presenter … now what is it?

R. Don’t know… If I get solemn I can say that I am “an individual who has concern concerning the phrase.” I am curious, I like to create and carry out what I have inside. Now, I dedicate myself to play. I am at one point.

P. A advice yesterday?

R. You do not have to save lots of your self, however be tender with you and your environment. We are pleasant for others to like us, however tenderness is a manufacturing facility worth.