What accounts for the success of “good manners” influencers? | EUROtoday


NWe discover her at Drouant, a century-old establishment and well-known restaurant within the capital. Hair tied again, pink swimsuit jacket and patent moccasins, Carmel Assak, 23, is filming a brand new video this April day: “The rules of good manners in restaurants. » Full-length, with a calm voice and clear diction, the young woman shares her advice with her subscribers: how to sit, consult the menu, hold your glass, unfold your napkin… “We don’t always know,” smiles -she, however there are codes for every of those steps! »

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Like her, there are round ten influencers and content material creators in France who’ve, in recent times, taken up the theme of decorum and class on social networks. From sporting heels or a tie to vocabulary, speech and different guidelines of utilization, their movies, like a “Manual of Good Manners”, cowl all of the codes of etiquette, and are surprisingly profitable.

“I quickly understood that many of us were looking for information on the subject,” confides the younger lady, whose varied accounts (TikTook, Instagram and YouTube) deliver collectively, a 12 months and a half after their creation, a neighborhood of greater than 1 million subscribers. “Proof that elegance inspires and attracts! » she congratulates herself.

“Some people tell me that I’m reactive or old-fashioned”

On the platforms, nonetheless, these considerably anachronistic movies stand out. “It is clear that these influencers go against the grain of what is happening today on social networks,” observes Stéphanie Lukasik, physician in Information and Communication Sciences on the University of Aix. -Marseille and writer of The Influence of Opinion Leaders (L’Harmattan, 2021).

A bias, which usually causes them to be accused of retrogrades, and even anti-feminists. “I know that what I do may seem a little “out of fashion,” admits Carmel Assak. Some inform me, furthermore, that I’m reactive or old school…” Comments which don’t diminish the passion of the twenty-something, who claims Jackie Kennedy as her inspiration, “for her intelligence, her culture and her elegance”.

“Convinced” that good manners have “a more significant importance than they seem”, she explains: “These codes contribute to projecting a positive image of oneself, to seeing doors opened and even present more opportunities. I sincerely believe that they can transform lives! »

The fear of being confined to the “bottom of the ladder”

This aspiration would, furthermore, clarify a big a part of the success of those influencers, analyzes Dominique Picard, psychosociologist, specialist in interpersonal relations and writer of Politeness, manners and social relations (reissued in 2024, by PUF). In addition to the attraction of curiosity, she explains, “these contents respond to a desire for social ascension, driven by a concern, widespread among young people, of seeing themselves confined “to the bottom of the ladder”, in due to their atmosphere, their origins or their place of life.
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A priority that’s all of the extra important and present as the center class turns into extra fragile and “people who master the rules of good manners are, in the collective imagination, associated with those endowed with capital”: “Some of these influencers and their subscribers, seek to be inspired, even to copy these codes, to be able – one can imagine – to hope to be part of them, in turn,” she observes.

@soneeeeeel The 2 strategies that helped me essentially the most #class #elocution #eloquence #oral ♬ Debussy Arabesque – Isabelle Perrin

Thus, Solène (@soneeeeeel), one other determine of interpersonal expertise on social networks – who presents herself as a category defector – discourages, for instance, her subscribers from “lifting a finger” of their espresso cup, underneath penalty of being “immediately toasted in society!” “. A joyful, and nevertheless applied, defense against social determinism, the very existence of these contents “confirms”, in that “they remind those that fear about it that good manners could be realized, that it’s achievable,” continues the psychosociologist.

“Not everyone has had the privilege, depending on their birth, of acquiring, from a very young age, the subtleties of decorum and etiquette…” explains Emmanuel PCR, 32 years outdated, writer “Male Elegance” accounts (TikTook and Instagram), as to the genesis of his undertaking.

A structuring mannequin in an period dropping its bearings

Round glasses, handlebar mustache and sartorial-inspired fits, the younger man, who dispenses “old money” grooming recommendation [inspiré de l’aristocratie anglaise]rules of eloquence and guidelines of fine manners, brings collectively a neighborhood of greater than 1 million subscribers. “This is the strength of social networks and even more so of these influencers,” emphasizes Stéphanie Lukasik: “democratizing information that has until now been reserved for certain spheres.”

And the intention of those goes past the straightforward introduction to the principles of fine manners. Through them, “it is a respectful and harmonious environment that I value, a framework where mutual consideration and understanding prevail,” defends Carmel Assak. A design to which its subscribers subscribe: “Elegance begins with behavior,” writes one in every of them; “It’s first and foremost a question of values,” feedback one other.

These contents are pleasing in that they provide “a reassuring structuring model”, feedback Dominique Picard on this regard. “In an era which has lost many of its landmarks (school, parents and elders no longer benefit from the same authority as in the past) and is prey to incivility, even violence, these videos find an almost natural audience,” she analyzes.

Propriety, a “new form of resistance”


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Do the few feedback welcoming “a return to basics (sic)”, “a welcome reminder” or “rules that have gone by the wayside” not categorical, implicitly, this uneasiness? “Many of those who write to me say they remember the elegance of their grandparents,” confides Emmanuel PCR. “I also believe that if this content works, it is because there is a need to reappropriate a story, to be linked to the past and to create a bond through these references,” deciphers the thirty-year-old.

What if these movies – each signs and treatments – have been, deep down, extra political than they appear? “In an increasingly uncertain world, decorum and elegance can become a new form of resistance…”, in any case, the younger man needs to consider.



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