‘There’s all the time an empty house’: The households who spend Christmas ready for somebody who by no means comes residence | EUROtoday

Laying the desk for Christmas dinner three months after his teenage son went lacking was its personal form of heartbreak.

Peter Boxell remembers 25 December 1988 as a day spent clinging to hope, desperately prepared his son Lee to return residence. Attempting to will that hope into actuality, he laid a spot on the desk for him. But as darkness fell, the devastating realisation crept in that Lee wouldn’t be coming residence. He nonetheless hasn’t.

“I had hoped Lee might come home or we might hear from him – obviously I wanted him to come home for Christmas,” Mr Boxell advised The Independent. “We had an extra space at the table for him for Christmas dinner in case he came home. It was just heartbreaking.”

Mr Boxell is amongst quite a lot of relations who’ve opened up about how “horrific” it may be to spend Christmas with no lacking liked one, as The Independent’s Christmas marketing campaign, SafeCall, reaches its £165,000 goal to launch a brand new nationwide lifeline for lacking younger folks, alongside the charity Missing People.

Donate right here or textual content SAFE to 70577 to present £10 to Missing People – sufficient for one little one to get assist.

Thanks to a unprecedented outpouring of public help, the free, round the clock service can now be established to achieve the greater than 70,000 kids who go lacking within the UK annually, providing help, security and connection after they want it most.

The marketing campaign’s goal was reached as The Independent highlights on its Christmas Day entrance web page the individuals who went lacking as kids or youngsters, and whose households are nonetheless desperately trying to find them this festive season.

Lee Boxell, who would now be 52, disappeared on an atypical, heat late summer season’s day on 10 September 1988.

When the sleepy 15-year-old got here downstairs on the household residence in Cheam nonetheless in his pyjamas, Mr Boxell recalled: “I told Lee where we were all going and asked him if he had any plans. He just mumbled something, and I thought, ‘Well, he’s still not really awake yet, so I just won’t worry him.’ We left then – and that was the last time I ever saw Lee.”

It was when darkness fell that night, and Lee – a “lovely, caring” boy who liked soccer and by no means acquired into hassle – had nonetheless not returned residence, that the close-knit household started to panic.

“It was like a living nightmare,” Mr Boxell mentioned. “We were up all night. We couldn’t sleep, just listening for the phone to ring or the doorbell to ring, thinking Lee would come home – but nothing.”

Searches have been launched and appeals issued, with police taking the case particularly severely as a result of there was “no reason” for Lee to go lacking, Mr Boxell mentioned. His son had simply £10 on him and the garments he was carrying.

It has now been 37 “very hard” Christmases since that day.

“Christmas is a difficult time for us because we don’t know whether he’s going to come home again or whether he is still alive,” Mr Boxell mentioned. “We always think of Lee at Christmas and wonder where he could be, if he is alive, and if he is safe and well.

“But fortunately, I have a daughter, and she’s given us two lovely grandchildren.

“My grandson, especially, reminds me so much of my son. When he was little, I used to call him Lee – I couldn’t help it.”

Deirdre Fenech’s daughter Carmel went lacking in 1998, after the 16-year-old was final seen at Camberwell Green Magistrates’ Court in London.

The three a long time since have been horrendous for the household, and Ms Fenech mentioned Christmas stays one of many hardest occasions.

“It’s very difficult,” she mentioned. “The first couple of years, I was still buying presents, and we’d put them under the tree, and we’d keep them there.”

Each 12 months, Carmel’s household would add to the pile, Ms Fenech mentioned. “I just couldn’t keep looking at them, and in the end, I gave them all away. Now, I don’t buy anything. I just think if she comes home at Christmas, she doesn’t need a pile of presents under the tree. I will take her in and buy her whatever she wants.”

Natasha Walker’s sister, Katrice Lee, vanished from a grocery store on her second birthday in 1981. That first Christmas, her household wrapped items and positioned them beneath the tree in case she got here residence.

Christmases since then have remained an particularly painful time, Ms Walker mentioned.

“It’s just really bloody hard,” she mentioned. “It’s heartbreaking because you can see other people’s families celebrating, and although you’re celebrating, you still have that one person missing.

“I’ll never, ever forget Katrice. There’s never going to be a time where I’m not going to get up on Christmas Day and think, ‘Gosh, I wish she was here with me.’”

Ms Walker mentioned Katrice’s birthday and the anniversary of her going lacking each fall near Christmas, which compounds their heartache presently of 12 months. “It’s always really sad,” she mentioned.

“My dad will light a candle every Christmas Eve for Katrice, and I normally light a candle for Katrice.

“It’s just really difficult because there is that one person missing – you’re not sharing the joy of Christmas, and gifts.”

In a message to different households who’re additionally spending Christmas with no lacking liked one, Mr Boxell mentioned: “I think they’ve got to try and enjoy Christmas as best they can for the sake of their other family members… [and] to try to think of the good times with their loved one who’s gone missing. I think that’s all they can do, really. We did have lots of good times with our son.”

Mr Boxell, who has been concerned with Missing People since its founding and is a longstanding member of the charity’s choir, additionally threw his help behind the SafeCall marketing campaign.

“I think SafeCall is a brilliant idea, especially for youngsters who are thinking they might have to leave home, or if they’ve already left home,” he mentioned. “If they can call the charity, they’ll be helped enormously. It’s someone to talk to. They’ll help keep them safe, because it is a dangerous world out there.”

Alongside the generosity of our readers, prime minister Sir Keir Starmer threw his backing behind the marketing campaign, becoming a member of actor and author Sir Stephen Fry, campaigner Dame Esther Rantzen, former England soccer captain Sir David Beckham and presenter Lorraine Kelly. The Independent will proceed to lift cash for the trigger into the brand new 12 months to lift important funds to help the working of the brand new helpline when the service launches.

Please donate now to The Independent and Missing People’s SafeCall marketing campaign, which has raised £165,000 to create a free, nationwide service serving to weak kids discover security and help.

For recommendation, help and choices for those who or somebody you like goes lacking, textual content or name the charity Missing People on 116 000. It’s free, confidential and non-judgemental. Or go to missingpeople.org.uk/get-help